Archive | August, 2010

Snow Vids

26 Aug

Nomi eats snow

Snow Melt & View of Mountains

Playing with snow 1

Playing with snow 2

Mountain Views 1

Mountain Views 2

Driving down the mountain with snow on the roof

Someone’s escaped pet pig

Cataract Gorge

Idiots

25 Aug

Some people are so clueless that it hurts. For example:

Upon informing people that I am a vegetarian, they proceed to say dumb things like…
– Wow. That must be so hard
– Really? Don’t you hate it?
– I could never live without meat

As well as the classic… – What do you eat?

Tofu and lettuce of course!

In fact almost every single time I inform a meat eater that I am vego they go on to talk about eating meat.
The other day I actually had a woman laugh at me and then give the third response above (I could never live without meat) and went on to tell me about the massive steak she was planning for dinner. ??

Some days I’m amazed that people can be so socially backwards.

Bob’s parents stayed with us recently and his Dad talked about meat during EVERY single one of our meals together. That was over 10 meals.

I can sort of understand the meat-talking. I think it comes from a nervous place where people are not sure what to say so they start talking about the closest thing they know about the subject – and often end up talking shit or offending the other person.

For example:

Someone starts talking to me about how much they hate Jim Carey and how they find him incessantly annoying, saying things like “I avoid all movies that he’s in” and “When I hear him talk it makes me so angry”.
Then I start talking about all the Jim Carey movies I can think of and start acting out stupid quotes and skits from them, “Smmmokin!”

Inconsiderate much? Careless yes? English good?

Ok. Maybe not a great example. But you get the point. Here’s the problem…

Unknowingly people change topics of conversation to be about THEM.
And sometimes they do it knowingly too.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Taking it in turns to talk about yourself is not a conversation. It’s not. It’s just plain and simply that, taking it in turns. There’s no real engagement, no learning and no real sharing either.

You might think that when you take your turn to speak that the other person gives a shit but the truth is… they probably don’t. They’re too busy thinking about what they can say that tops what you’re saying. It might sound like this: (taken directly from a conversation I attempted to have with Bob’s Mother)

N: I’m going to finish painting this door
J: Oh yes, painting is great fun. When I painted our doors at home I really enjoyed it
N: Yeah, I don’t mind it. It does get a bit tedious after a while though. I’m up to number 8 now
J: Oh well I never did that many, only the ones downstairs
N: uh huh
J: *counts* 5 I think
N: Not sure
J: And because they were all the original doors they just looked fantastic
N: Yeah these are new doors which makes a big difference
J: And you’ve reminded me, I don’t think I ever painted our hinges
N; Yeah I think our look really good painted
J: I’ll have to look into that when I get home…

And on it went. This is what happens when both people attempt to tell their own story without engaging with the other person about theirs. In fact the closest I came to engaging was when I said that I was ‘Not sure’ about how many doors they had.

By then end of their stay I had stopped bothering trying to share any part of myself and communicated with them only by entertaining their mindless chatter.

This frustrates me beyond belief!
When I calmed down I recognised that the reason I was so upset was because of my own expectations. There’s two main ones:

1) I expect that people (parents in particular) should have an interest in what I/others have to say
2) I expect that people (especially parents) should have courtesy and respect for others in social encounters

And the plain old stinking truth is that people will never fulfil these expectations. In fact having expectations like these in place serves only to fuel my own suffering. e.g.

I’m in a cafe ordering nachos. I order the vegetarian one without the cheese. The woman looks confused so I reiterate… I would like the beans, the salsa, the guacamole and the sauce but just without the cheese. She finally gets it then the woman making coffee next to her turns around and says aggressively “Pff what’s the point?!”

I perceived this to be rude and disrespectful and ended up feeling agitated at the time. I now realise is that my agitation was caused because of my expectations. Because I wanted my experience to be different to the way that it actually was.

I was talking to a psychologist friend the other day who said that if you expect people to be stupid and inconsiderate then you’re far less likely to be disappointed by their actions or inaction. This made sense to me although it appeared to be a little pessimistic. Funnily enough though, he’s exactly right.

I’m a natural optimist. I like goodness and happiness and easyness and lovelyness and I’ve learnt to hope for it in all areas of my life. But life just isn’t like that. The truth is that people will be rude and inconsiderate, they will put themselves first and show others no respect and some parents are just selfish jerks.

It’s sad but true. Accept it and be free 🙂

VIDS

2 Aug

Bob’s birthday tamarillo

Chris & Dusty

Looking for the Mt Nebo fire tower

Samford Valley

Georgia climbing through a fallen tree

Growling Swallet (Cave river)

Bob at Growling Swallet

Peacock

Me making whirlpools